i can't afford to be too perfect, my dear.

"To love someone deeply gives you strength, To be love deeply by someone gives you courage."

-i saw this quote while watching television. Hi Lovers.

okay so im gonna start today's post with something that needs to be clarify. haha, its quite unbelievable too. as far as im concerned, i am certainly not 'damn stupid'. i took a quiz on Facebook about how am i in school as a student(not the exact words). and i was appalled by the results. it says that im damn dumb in school and there's alot of mean things there. just so you know, (lest you almost trust the result) i am not that dumb, mind you.

okay, change of topic.

We all make choices, my dear. Me. You. Her. Practically Everyone. Even your-want-to-be-bestfriend-but-it-never-happen. Its about judging and each of our perspective/views. I think you have this storyline that you want her to be in but me to be out. Your-want-to-be-bestfriend-but-it-never-happen, to me, has at times seemed to rebel against the plotline you have set for her. Everytime it has reached the climax, i know you will be blaming me for ruining it. I never wanted it to happen. Besides, she can never be your bestfriend, love. You know that and yet you'd still lied to yourself. You remind me of someone whom i really wished would just go away soon. Yes, i wished you changed.

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I am so gonna watch Americon idol on Star World this thursday/wednesday.

Now its down to only Two(Kris Allen & Adam Lambert) and i want to witness the born of the new American Idol. I kind of like Adam. I think he has a great voice and a pretty face, ^^ i hope he wins.

My 'Regular sessions' with my number one Gossiper has just ended. well, for tonight.

Haha, it may not be nice for us to be bitching/gossiping about others but we're only exchanging opinions. Nothing much. And for the gazzilion times im telling you partner, you never know what the outcome may be. So why not go all the way till the end? Who knows it will be a start of a new beginning. Lets hope so, ^^.

Okay, for the third time, please do not get my hopes high for nothing.

I don't want to get all my hopes up only to watch them fall and felt my heart breaking into million pieces. I just want you to say YES for the second time. Please, with a cherry on top?

i find it somehow amusing to be able to read people's blog. haha, don't even thought of asking. i myself do not know as to why. i like reading other's. it will somewhat make me appreciate those people around me. And having the chance to read about their sadsad life or about a broken friendship or anything thats broken and not smooth sailing, i will be like "im lucky my life has got one less problem to think about"

But at times when i came across a blog post about how content they are with things when they mentioned about the past which has become the present now, i swear i was feeling jealous. i wished i was one of them. i wanted so much to be in the pictures with them(provided im one of them), when i saw how 'united' they are. But it would not ever happen.

So today was POA which was a little(stress on the word 'little') bit kind of suckish. I can't seemed to balance both questions and its frustrating sitting there trying so hard to figure out the mistake you have made and by the end of time, you have to leave it blank. I was like pressing the calculator over and over again trying to balance and i gave up. I think its because i was too nervous so somewhat something gets me and i was stoned for awhile. I was not sure of what i am supposed to do. But my class is rather pathetic because there's only 10 of us who's present today and 29 were absent(with valid reasons). duh- they are the ones i called geniuses. the math freak. fan of numbers. Oh, stop it. you know what i mean.

This morning i completely forgot that today was the day where all the A-math students need not come to school so i was walking to class thinking of happy thoughts but then suddenly the thought of she's not there somehow made my walking speed slower. i stopped. i thought of her. she's not there. im sad. because im used to seeing her face every morning. i think i missed her. but yayy, im so gald there's tomorrow!

I got to go now. My books and other piles of work are waiting for me to start reading them. I really have to start studying now or else i'll sorely regret it tomorrow. I guessed i won't have my beauty sleep tonight, Ha-Ha i was kidding anyway. I will find time for my beauty sleep. haha, okay this time, i'll minus the beauty. I'll just have my sleep.

Love,

Erdina.