and i thought, "are you thinking of me? are you missing me?" for a second i've forgotten that you've found my replacement.

Oh Hi Love.

A definite Yes.
i saw how unhappy you were when i was there. i saw it. you showed it through your facial expression. i can see it from your eyes. your reaction was obvious and you made it clear that you did not want me to be there. i heard you. you were never like this before. from how you react, i felt as though you felt threatened with my presence. well, if you do not wish for me to be there just say so. why kept it quiet? before that you were your usual self, you won't stop talking. you were so happy then. and after a while when that happens, you're different. you're quiet, pulled a long face and made me feel awkward. what the hell is wrong with you? i clearly do not understand you. and you don't have to be so hurtful okay.
goodness gracious. have you ever felt as though your friends are suddenly turning their back against you? like a time when he/she felt you're a threat or a big wall thats between them and another party. they never told you, but you could hear them, clearly. first minute everything is fine, its great. but the next moment, he/she made you feel unaccepted. awkward. he/she would want to get rid of you. let me tell you, its not a nice feeling. everyone wants to feel love. everyone wants to be accepted. nobody who fears of social rejection would ever want to feel the opposite.
thinking about that incident makes me feel unwanted.

so lets move on to happy things.
things that could help me get that thought away from my mind.
yayy! exams are on the verge of ending. double the joy! haha, there's only 2 papers left but i felt as if it has already ended. maths paper 1 has got to be the toughest as compared to paper 2. i lost about 18 marks cause i didn't know how to do most. there goes my chance(what chance? there could never be a chance.) i think a better word would be my hope to get an A. and i guessed we'll be seeing an F again on my report card for Mathematics and combined Science.

I can assure you that.
but we celebrated it with great news.
remember the time when i told you how the planned to Japan backfired?
remember how disappointed we were back then when we were told the bad news?
remember i told you Rohani and I were already cursing Mexico for the swine flu?
DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER? i bet you don't. well, forget about it. because it turned out to be pretty good in the end(:
we were happy, the teachers are too and you should too. aren't you?
probably not.
well, guess what? but i think you know what cause most probably those people either told you or they already blogged about it.
okay anyway, it will not anymore be cancelled or postponed to early november.
uh-huh we're going this may. on the last day of school which is two weeks from now.

we did asked to be absent from school since its already the last day but for the obvious we got a big No-no from him.

in any case, i can already feel the exitement in the atmosphere while we're in the music room.

Rohani was squealing when she heard the decision to carry on with the plan. haha, when we first enter the room, it was quite intense cause we're late by 2 minutes.

and Mr.Chua was already, "you're late" blah... and he told us we're not going.

and Diana was stoned and looked at me. guess what his reply was? it will take you a pretty long time for you to figure out.

his reply was, "i was lying."

and we were like, oh thank god he's lying and heave a sigh of relief. haha.

that was mean.

-------------

anyway, i just realised that the word 'blur' is NOT to describe someone being in a confused state, it is a word to describe visual clarity. understood?

"what do you have?" he asked.

"sorry?"

"for dinner. what do you have for dinner?"

"ohh, umm steak."

"ermm, delicious."

"it was burnt."

"well done"

" not funny."

Love,

Erdina.

"ps/// its sad when people you know become people you knew."

-copyrighted from breeeee's blog.

i like the phrasing, its sounds so right.